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Educators as Resilient Leaders: Managing the Tension Between Serving and Self
- Joanne Stanley-Bell
- Aug 6
- 6 min read
Pulled in All Directions
Introduction
It may be an unfashionable perspective, but I believe there is still an element of vocation in teaching, wherever you sit within the education system. While the word is less commonly used today, the qualities it reflects, dedication, self-sacrifice, and putting others first, remain deeply woven into the fabric of the profession.
Working in education, you're likely familiar with the tension between serving others and sustaining yourself.
Whether you're leading a school, teaching a class, or mentoring students, the rhythm of your day is set by the needs of others. Students, colleagues, families, and systems continually call on your time, your attention, and your emotional energy.
Most teachers and school leaders I’ve worked with give that energy freely - because they care deeply about their students. But what happens when the giving goes unchecked?
When does time for reflection, recovery, or being still become a luxury?
When do you prioritise your health, relationships, and happiness?
How do you restore your energy, rest, and renew?
This blog is an invitation to pause and reflect on that tension, to sit with it, explore it, and consider how to discover a healthier rhythm between service and self. It’s a conversation grounded in the Resilient Leaders Development Programme™ (RLDP™).
Understanding Uncertainty
I begin every 1:1 coaching session and each course session by exploring the uncertainty spectrum. Though the process is more complex in practice, simply returning to this reflection periodically helps educators gain clarity on how they are feeling and functioning.
It’s not unusual for someone to place themselves on the “Crisis to Chaos” end of the spectrum - overwhelmed, overstretched, and unsure of how to pull back. Identifying ‘where you are’ is the beginning to address how you ‘adjust the pull’.
Why Resilience Isn’t Just About Endurance
Too often, resilience is misunderstood as endurance: “keep going,” “stay strong,” “push through.” But real resilience isn’t about gritting your teeth through exhaustion. It’s about building sustainable strength - the kind that balances your needs with those of others, without losing yourself along the way.
Ask yourself:
How am I, honestly?
What’s fuelling me - and what’s draining me?
What gives me the most satisfaction in my work?
What’s the cost of always being available?
These are vital questions. When you care for yourself with intention, you model something powerful: that well-being is not a bonus or a reward - it’s part of the work.
The Cost of Compassion
Leadership rooted in service can blur boundaries. The same traits that make educators effective, such as empathy, responsiveness, and adaptability, can also lead to burnout if left unchecked.
Burnout doesn’t always arrive loudly. It might show as quiet fatigue, creative stagnation, irritability, or guilt for not giving more. And because the culture of education often rewards sacrifice, it can feel risky, even selfish, to step back.
But using RLE™ tools with educators consistently reveals growth in self-awareness.
In a recent cohort, participants reported a 19% improvement in their ability to reflect and maintain perspective in the face of challenges, a shift directly linked to enhanced self-awareness.
Letting Go of the ‘Hero Head’
We lose too many brilliant educators to burnout and mental health crises. The belief that teachers and leaders must carry everything alone - that resilience means doing it all - is not just misguided; it’s destructive.
High-calibre leaders can be hard to recruit, and the “hero head” stereotype still lingers. But the most effective leaders I know don’t try to be everything to everyone. They know themselves. They recognise their limits. They value their needs, even when the system suggests they should just keep going.
Context matters, too. Not everyone has the same resources, support, or freedoms.
This is not about blaming individuals for burning out. It’s about creating environments where well-being is built in, not bolted on.
There’s No One-Size-Fits-All
There’s no single path to restoring balance. What grounds one person may drain another. Some find rest in solitude, others in connection. Some need movement, others need stillness. Structure may nourish one leader, while spontaneity fuels another.
In one group I worked with, someone said they didn’t feel stressed at work - yet the data suggested otherwise. By the end of the programme, they acknowledged that stress manifested differently for them and that small adjustments in their working style helped reduce that load.
That’s the power of reflection and intentional change.
Learning When Not to Give
So, what if part of your leadership was learning when not to give?
When to say no.
When to step back.
When to ask for help.
The most resilient leaders I’ve met have developed this capacity over time. They check in with themselves. They understand their triggers. They know what supports them. And most importantly, they accept that their needs matter too.
Using the RLDP™ in education provides the structure and support needed to achieve this. Working with colleagues in groups ensures building trust in a safe space. It begins with the process of realising that sacrificing yourself is not the same as serving others.
Presence doesn’t require depletion. Sometimes stepping back allows others to step forward.
Reclaiming the Self Through Service
Here are a few questions to help you begin:
Where in your week do you feel most connected to yourself?
What’s one small boundary you could set to protect your energy?
What would it look like to lead with compassion and clarity for your own needs?
When was the last time you did something that truly restored you?
In my experience, educators don’t just need more training or tools; they need space to explore what it really means to be effective, fulfilled, and whole in their roles.
Courses focused only on data, curriculum, or performance metrics can’t answer the deeper question: What does it mean to be a good teacher or leader and still be yourself in the process?
Because if the work erases you, it’s not sustainable. And Resilient Leadership, the kind that lasts, isn’t about being endlessly available or always having the answers.
It’s about leading from a place where who you are is as valued as what you do.
Final Thoughts
Resilient Leadership in education isn’t about pushing through at all costs. It’s about recognising that your well-being is not something to earn after the work is done, it’s part of the work itself. When we lead from a place of balance, self-awareness, and intention, we model something powerful: that sustaining ourselves is what allows us to serve others well, without losing ourselves in the process.
There’s no single roadmap for navigating the tension between serving and self. But using the tools that RLE™ offers makes it clear that resilience grows when we pause, reflect, and make conscious choices about how we manage ourselves. When educators lead with this kind of integrity and care, they help to create cultures where well-being is built in, not bolted on.
Because in the end, Resilient Leadership isn’t about always being available or having all the answers. It’s about leading in a way that reflects who you are as much as what you do.
Meet the author:
Joanne works with leadership teams and individuals to understand how to lead themselves and their staff through uncertain times.
Joanne began her career as a primary school teacher and has been a leader at many levels. As a Headteacher, she set up an Academy Trust with another colleague after seeing a ‘different way’ of giving children a better education. She became their Director of Education and used her expertise in leadership to develop the RLE Programmes across five schools. She is a Resilient Leaders Accredited Consultant and has led accreditation programmes within the organisation.
Her passion is to enable schools to have the best leadership they can for the most important reason of all, it leads to better outcomes for the children, a very motivated school staff, and an improvement in recruitment levels.
As a type 1 diabetic for most of her life, Joanne understands the need to balance the demands of a career and the importance of overcoming personal barriers within an organisation to become successful.
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