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Authentic… to Whom? Rethinking What Authentic Leadership Looks Like
- Audrey Pantelis
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Introduction
We hear it all the time: “Be authentic.” It’s hailed as the gold standard of modern leadership; a trait that inspires trust, builds connection, and signals integrity.
But when we look beneath the surface, authenticity isn't always as simple as it sounds.
What if the self you bring to work doesn’t match the mould of expected leadership? What if your version of “real” makes others uncomfortable?
When I got married in 2012, I wanted the students I led to attend my wedding.
Unconventional, I know, but at the time I was Head of Secondary services at The PACE Centre, where I worked with young people who had physical and motor disabilities - the majority of the young people had cerebral palsy.
I knew that they couldn’t attend the actual ceremony, but I wanted them to be involved, so they and their parents were invited to attend my marriage blessing at my church a couple of weeks before the wedding.
Some people asked me why I was doing it, as I didn’t have to. It was frowned upon by my line managers and, no doubt, some members of staff. To ‘mix personal and professional duties’, but to me, I didn’t see the mix - my wedding was a big deal, and I had been sharing the preparation with them. I wanted them to attend so that they could be a part of my day. I loved having them there, and there are members of my church family, my own family, and parents of the young people who attended who still talk about the event, thirteen years on.
On reflection, I recognise that my sense of authenticity has always been firmly established and, possibly, the fact that it’s a part of me that makes people uncomfortable hasn’t always been welcomed.
The Resilient Leaders Elements™ (RLE™) framework includes a facet called Authentic under the Leadership Presence element. It’s one of my favourites to explore with leaders, not because it’s straightforward, but because it’s often misunderstood. So, let’s unpack it. What does it really mean to be Authentic as a leader?
1. Authenticity without self-awareness is a missed opportunity
Being authentic doesn’t mean saying whatever you want, whenever you want, regardless of context or consequence. That’s not authentic. That’s a lack of self-awareness.
RLE™ invites leaders to reflect on how their presence is received by others.
How do you want people to experience you? What is the impact you want to have? Your authenticity should align with your intent and your impact.
We also need to remember that the self-awareness piece is part of how we ‘curate’ our authentic selves. If we were to be and to do what we do at home in the workplace, we may not remain employed for very long! For some of us, showing up “authentically” at work comes with risk: Will I be judged? Misunderstood? Penalised?
This is especially true for people navigating how they present with their protected characteristics/diversity traits. If authenticity is only welcomed when it fits within a narrow idea of what’s acceptable, then it’s not really authenticity, it’s conformity dressed up with a nicer name.
So, rather than telling people to be “authentic,” maybe we should focus on creating conditions where authenticity feels safe.
2. Authenticity evolves
You are not a fixed identity.
You change.
You grow.
And what feels authentic to you at one stage of your life may no longer fit a few years later.
My authenticity today looks different to how it did twenty years ago. As a parent to a mixed-race child who is now an adult, I now bring different questions into the room and different expectations of the spaces I work in. Growth hasn’t made me less ‘me’. It’s made me more aligned.
Leadership Presence is about congruence: alignment between your values, your actions, and how you show up.
That means giving yourself permission to evolve and recognising when it’s time to shed old versions of yourself that no longer serve.
3. Your authenticity creates space for others
Authentic leadership isn’t just about you. It’s also about what your authenticity makes possible for others.
One of the most powerful moments in my school leadership journey was when I had made a mistake with term dates that was going to negatively impact my school community.
Sharing my mistake, sooner rather than later, meant that we could rapidly rectify the situation and meant that, in demonstrating that I could be courageous and vulnerable about ‘not always getting it right’, then they could be too. Authenticity is also about the permission we offer others. When leaders show up with courage and vulnerability, they signal to others: “You can be seen here. You don’t have to hide.”
This is especially powerful for those who may feel pressure to conform, edit themselves, or mask parts of their identity in order to belong. There is a distinct difference between belonging and “fitting in”.
Final Reflections
The call to be “authentic” at work is not a free pass to ignore context, responsibility, or the need for reflection. But it is an invitation to be intentional, to be congruent, and to lead from a place of alignment.
So next time you hear the word “authentic,” pause and ask:
Am I aware of the impact my authenticity has on others?
Am I growing and evolving in how I show up?
Am I creating space for others to show up fully too?
Your Leadership Presence is not a performance. It’s the alignment of who you are, how you lead, and what you make possible for others.
Leadership Presence isn’t loud, perfect, or always polished. Sometimes it looks like pausing before you respond. Sometimes it’s admitting you don’t have the answer. And sometimes, it’s being the first to make space for someone else’s version of “authentic” too.
And that? That’s the authenticity that transforms teams, organisations, and lives.
Meet the author:
I'm Audrey, an inclusion trainer, facilitator, and speaker with over 30 years of educational leadership experience.
As the founding Head of a special educational needs school, I designed and implemented inclusive systems and processes from the ground up. Now, as Director of Elevation Coaching and Consulting, I leverage this expertise to help organisations enhance employee engagement through strategic diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging initiatives.
My passion lies in fostering workplace cultures that boost productivity, inspire mindset shifts, and build trust, enabling organisations to transform intention into meaningful action.
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